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her story writes itself
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In case you don't know, I moved to Northern Virginia in April of this year to be with my soulmate.  It took us 20 years of life experience to learn how to handle each other after our first having met in the early 90s, but that is another story #moviesomeday.

This weekend I learned two very important skills.
Watch me...how to whip and nae nae.
and how to wobble
though I don't *quite* have all the line dancing style moves for it, yet.

We learn some serious lifeskills in MK!
At some point in 2014, a coworker and dear friend gave me a book that changed my life.

New Moon Astrology: The Secret of Astrological Timing to Make All Your Dreams Come True by Jan Spiller
New Moon Astrology: The Secret of Astrological Timing to Make All Your Dreams Come True
by Jan Spiller
Link: http://amzn.com/0553380869

The book has a set of exercises timed to best use the energy of new moons throughout the year to inspire change.  One of these exercises is critical.  You create a vision board or treasure map of what you want your life to include.  I think this exercise is to be done in conjunction with the Spring Solstice.  (Will fact check that tonight and update later.)  Here's a photo of last year's board.

vision board 2014

I look at this every morning while I am brushing my teeth.  That practice has brought some amazing results.  I had a lot of doubts around the whole "vision board" being able to help you live a life of your own design.  In a year's time, much to my surprise, many of the wishes dreamed up and placed on my treasure map are in the process of being answered and planned.

This week's Sun Sign horoscope got me thinking about the board as it's almost time again to make a new one for 2015's manifestation.

How many desires do you have? Take a
rough inventory. Identify the experiences you continually seek in your
quest to feel relief and pleasure and salvation and love and a sense of
meaning. You can also include fantasies that go unfulfilled and dreams
that may or may not come true in the future. As you survey this lively
array, don't censor yourself or feel any guilt. Simply give yourself to a
sumptuous meditation on all the longings that fuel your journey. This is
your prescription for the coming week. In ways you may not yet be able
to imagine, it is the medicine you need most."
www.freewillastrology.com - Rob Brezsny
15th-Jan-2015 04:44 pm - Today's Office

Most of us have been taught to have conditional confidence. We can feel good and confident when things are going well, but we struggle to keep motivated when things are hard. We are hard on ourselves when we slip up. We are critical, judgmental, and harsh.


  • You have to fully accept and make peace with the “now” before you can reach and feel satisfied with the “later.”

  • You can’t hate your way into loving yourself.

15th-Jan-2015 11:18 am - 2015
This year, I've realized that I miss my livejournal, a lot.  When I stopped posting, I stopped writing for years.  My life got off track around 2009, or maybe it was just a really dark path through the woods on my personal Hobbit journey...walking and walking and walking....to a place where I could find my courage and befriend my shadows.
Journalling has always been a way for me to see into my subconscious and gather artistic ideas with the occassional scrapbook poem. I miss interacting with my LJ friends/community. A lot of healing happened in these pages with the occassional upset or psychotic episode that was both sad for those involved and entainting for others to vicariously experience.
I need you again, dear journal and friends, because I miss you.  The path has circled back.  The landmarks are familiar and comforting.  I can hear my own voice, and it is positive.  Using the book Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live has allowed me to get back in touch with a more authentic inner voice and quietted the inner critic.  The habit of negative self-talk has been kicked.  I have a real support network and lots of tools to deal with my depression that went undiagnosed and untreated for years.  The journey has just begun.
3rd-Jan-2014 04:56 pm - the reset button exists

rebooting the soul is a complex process
list making
med taking
and research

14th-Sep-2010 10:13 am - today's office

Four cures for the low self-confidence blues from Molly Gordon

Publication and Reprint Info
U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1530-311X
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is written and edited by Molly Gordon, MCC. Copyright (c) Shaboom Inc.(r) 2010. All rights reserved.
You may reprint material from Authentic Promotion in other electronic or print publications provided the above copyright notice and a link to

Have you ever had one of those days when your confidence takes a nose-dive and you'd as soon hide under a bush as put yourself out there?

Who hasn't?

When you work for yourself, you need self-confidence to promote your work. At the same time, it can be elusive for the very reason that you and your work are so closely identified. When your mood drops or you don't feel well, your confidence takes a hit.

So the question of the day is, how do you summon the confidence to do what you need to do to get clients and do your best work, even when you aren't feeling so great?

Confidence is multi-dimensional

Confidence is not something you have or don't have. It's something that arises from the interplay among states of mind, body, emotions, and spirit. That sounds complicated, but it has a very simple--and hopeful--implication.

Because confidence arises from multiple states, you can self-generate it by shifting any one of those states. That means you can increase your confidence by working with the state that is easiest for you to change.

Change your state of mind with inquiry

One way to change your state of mind is to notice automatic thoughts and ask if they are true.

For example: You don't have what it takes to talk to people about your work. Is that true? Can you absolutely know that's true?

When you detach from an automatic thought and question it, it loses it's power to define you and what you can do. You can compare the story that emerges when you believe a negative thought with the story that emerges without it.

Often, this comparison leaves you with the realization that your negative belief is just not true. With that realization, your state of mind shifts, and your body, emotions, and spirit tend to follow.

You end up feeling more confident.

Change your state of body with changes in posture and expression

Sometimes it is easier to shift your body than your mind. This is especially true when you feel attached to a belief. Though it sounds funny, we all have times when we just don't want to let go of a negative thought.

A simple way to shift your body is to notice what's going on while you are in the non-confident state. Without trying to change anything, notice your posture. Notice the expression on your face and the tilt of your head and neck. Become aware of how you are holding your arms and legs.

When you have a clear sense of what that's like, make a few deliberate changes. Shift into what you imagine a confident posture looks like. Play with wearing a confident expression. In general, imitate a confident person.

This can feel really weird at first, like you're faking it. But just try on this new body state to see what it's like. Notice how different things look from this new way of being in your body.

If you choose, you can keep evoking this new state. It doesn't matter if you slip out of it. Just return to the posture and expression of confidence. A few repetitions will make a lot of difference.

Change your emotional state with sound

Lack of confidence is like the soundtrack of an unhappy movie. And you can literally change that soundtrack by playing upbeat music.

What's upbeat for you will be unique. I love the first movement of Vivaldi's "Four Seasons" as well as just about anything by The Beatles or Aretha Franklin. What's important is that you choose music that makes you feel good.

Change your spiritual state with meditation and prayer

One reason for low self-confidence is believing you are the sole source of the good you do in the world. Because we're all limited beings, that's exhausting.

To shift your spiritual state, take a break to connect with a greater Source. Allow your sense of inadequacy to be the opening through which Source can infuse your spirit with energy and inspiration. When you experience yourself as a channel for a higher power, your confidence in your ability to do something is bound to increase.

Start anywhere, but start

You can shift into a more confident state with any one of these methods. If you start with one and get stuck, play with another. It's important not to fight with yourself, but rather to invite yourself into a different way of being.

7th-Sep-2010 01:12 pm - from Rob Brezsny, the spy

The revised and expanded version of my book *PRONOIA IS THE
ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA* is available at Amazon:

Below is an excerpt. It's from the piece called "Subterranean Pronoia Therapy."

1. No matter how holy and good, everyone in the world has a portion of
the world's sickness inside them. It's known by many names: neurosis,
shadow, demon, devil. Many people try to deny that it inhabits them.
Others acknowledge its power so readily that they allow themselves to be
overwhelmed and distorted by it. At the Beauty and Truth Lab, we take a
position between those two positions. We accept the fact that the evil is
part of us, but treat it with compassionate amusement and flexible
vigilance. Our stance is partly that of loving parents and partly that of

Once you make a commitment to explore the mysteries of pronoia, your
shadow will try to play tricks on you that it has never tried before. How
will you respond? We recommend an aggressive, tender, improvisational
approach. Be ready for anything. Avoid both blithe excesses of tolerance
and grave fundamentalism.

24th-Jun-2010 10:28 am - Have you seen my lipstick?!
"Why would you even ask me that?
I'm insulted!
Every time something goes missing around here, everybody looks at me!
For your information, I don't even wear that shade - it doesn't flatter my complexion and it tastes terrible."

11 new shades of lipstick and 6 new shades of liquid lip color that is a gloss and lipstick in one..!  I'm giving away $500 of product this month from June 15th to July 15th.  Be one of my special hostesses to receive your prize!
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